Mavaliers.

Wonder who the fans in Cleveland are rooting for tonight...

Cover of the Day

Sports Illustrated's investigation into "Free Shoe U." after their 1994 "National Championship".  Look familiar, Buckeyes?

May 16, 1994

June 6, 2011

No Comment?

The only three "tweets" by THE Ohio State University's Compliance Office since Jim Tressel's resignation. 

Thanks for the advice on enrolling recruits before the deadline...what about selling rings for tats?  Cover-ups?  Lying?

No Crime Here

Ray Lewis, who has no business talking about crime, recently made ignorant comments stating that if the NFL has a season long lock-out, crime will rise, as "there is nothing else to do."  Nothing else to do?  How about doing something positive, Ray?  Nice article in the Denver Post about Broncos safety David Bruton who is using his political science degree from the University of Notre Dame to make $90 a day as a substitute teacher in his hometown of Miamisburg, Ohio.

Ray Lewis played for the Miami Hurricanes.  David Bruton went to Notre Dame.  There's a reason these shirts were made back in the late 80's...

Be Thou at Peace

Joe Steffy, a star guard who opened the way for the Heisman Trophy winners Doc Blanchard and Glenn Davis to burst through opposing lines for Army’s undefeated national football champions of the mid-1940s, died Saturday. In one season at the University of Tennessee and three at West Point, Steffy played on teams that lost only three games.

Think that's impressive?

Steffy graduated from West Point in 1949 and married the former Ann Brown in April 1950. His best man was John Trent, the captain of Army’s 1949 football team (he played end) and a fellow Tennessean. Two months later, the Korean War began. Lt. John Trent was killed in action near the port of Wonsan in November 1950. A month after that, Lieutenant Steffy was struck in the foot by a grenade while in combat. Suffering from frostbite as well, he was evacuated to Japan from the port of Hungnam and received a Bronze Star.

Too Fast?

"NASCAR driver Kyle Busch was clocked by a North Carolina sheriff's deputy going 128 mph in a 45 mph zone and was cited for careless and reckless driving and speeding, a law enforcement spokesman said Tuesday."

Just a mere 83 mph over the speed limit. Wonder if the arrest went down like this....

Fan Tattoos

Enjoy this gallery of ridiculous fan tattoos such as this one of Bear Bryant and many, many more.

Video of the Day

Not exactly sports related, but a great commercial nonetheless.

Fan of the Game

Anyone recognize last night's fan of the game at TD Garden? If you look closely you will see Bill Belichik sitting among the commoners waving his gold towel and getting the crowd to a fever pitch. No one fires up the troops like the hooded genius.

It's Pat!

Good news sports fans, the transgender member of the George Washington women's basketball team says "he" won't come back for "his" senior year.  He probably discovered washing dishes at the local Waffle House while playing rec ball at the local YMCA was a more lucrative career than striving to be the first dude in the WNBA.  But seriously, how has this "guy" not been beat up on the GWU campus yet?

What about Quebec?

Hockey is back in Winnipeg!

As a side note, former Calgary Flames right winger Tim Hunter just earned himself a spot in the Garbage Minutes Hall of Fame.  This guy single-handily kept this fight going about five different times.  Fantastic intensity.  Also, notice he was fined a total of $500 for starting a bench clearing brawl, whereas Bulls center Joakim Noah was fined $50,000 today for simply saying something rude to a fan while sitting on the bench.

In honor of all those in Winnipeg that are sick of getting teased, here is a solid tune from The Weakerthans.  Keep your head up, Winnipeg.  You could be Cleveland.

Bumper Sticker of the Day

Really?  You're worried about getting your 3 feet?  Real athletes are hoping you put down your $6 Starbucks, stop texting your partner, and simply move a bit over for the 2-3 seconds it takes to pass a biker.  Share the road, a%#hole.

In light of this sticker and the recent allegations against Lance Armstrong, whether they are true or false, here is your Daily Throwback...

When Fandom Goes Wrong

The story of Harvey Updyke, the man who (allegedly) poisoned the trees at Toomer's Corner, a famous landmark and football fan meeting ground on the campus of Auburn University. Interesting introspective into a fan that truly was/is fanatical and will likely go to prison for it. This story totally made me feel weird about my desire to name my first boy Larry Bird Couture.

Video of the Day

Slide tackling your teammate's face. Worst. Celebration. Ever.

Wilpon and the Mets

With Met's owner Fred Wilpon in the news for taking shots at his own players, thought it was appropriate to throw up the link to an interesting piece by Jeffrey Toobin of The New Yorker about Wilpon's ties to the Madoff scandal and the future of the Mets. Long read but extremely well done. Makes you appreciate whatever owner you may have. Unless you're a Sacramento Kings fan.

Morning Wood: Your Monday Links

Number 4 Bobby Orr . . . we need a big win tonight. Go B's.

- So they can't pay their athletes, but Alabama can spend $218,000 on "recruiting services"?

- Don't let Frank McCourt skew your view, owning a sports franchise would be the greatest thing ever. Not our fault he didn't get a prenup.

- Women's tennis closing the gap on men's. Not in ratings, in power.

- Dude cleans out Atlantic City for more than $15 Million at the Black Jack tables. Instant man crush. Of course his name is Don Johnson. Perfect.

- Feel good story of the week. Chicago Bears rookie running back J.T. Thomas takes girl with spina bifida to her prom.

- Advantage, owners. The current NFL lockout situation. Where do we go from here? Hope DeMaurice Smith is ready for his closeup.

- It's a sad statement about my life that I almost jumped out of my seat when I had this link in my email inbox this morning. Nerd alert.

- Rapture believers are confused as to how we are all still here. I can help you out with that. You're a bunch of idiots. If you really want the world to end, come on over. I got some applesauce for you.

- I try not to read too deeply into what athletes say, but I'm pretty sure Ray Lewis is going to murder my entire family if the lockout doesn't end.

ND Tells China to Screw

McDivot and I get a lot of hate mail claiming we're too pro-Notre Dame and our homerism for the fighting irish clouds our judgement. Well here is more proof that loving Notre Dame is the same thing as loving America. Screw you China! We don't want to sell your crappy pencil cups in our gift shop! USA! USA! USA!

Morning Wood: Your Wednesday Links

- Trying to remain grounded after watching what may be the Bruins future grow up in front of our eyes last night.

- The Governator's mistress. Ouch. I'm hearing Maria put it all together when she walked in on the nanny's son benching 350 40 times.

- Cleveland Cavaliers win 1st and 4th pick in NBA Draft. I'm all for conspiracy theories, but David Kahn is an idiot. Direct quote, aimed at the fact that Cavs owner Dan Gilbert sent his son, stricken with Neurofibromatosis, a debilitating neurological disorder, as his lucky charm:

"This league has a habit, and I am just going to say habit, of producing some pretty incredible story lines," Kahn said. "Last year it was Abe Pollin's widow and this year it was a 14-year-old boy and the only thing we have in common is we have both been bar mitzvahed. We were done. I told Kevin: 'We're toast.' This is not happening for us and I was right."

Kahn, by the way, is widely recognized as the worst GM in the NBA that never should have been promoted out of the D-League. If I know Stern, that's going to cost him at least $100,000.

- The guys that wrote the amazing oral history of Saturday Night Live are releasing their new book about the World Wide Leader. ESPN's PR department is at DEFCON 4. Some excerpts have already been released detailing unbelievable stories about hookers, office party hookups in the stairwells among married colleagues, and rampant sexual harassment throughout the '80s. The entire book is made up of direct quotes from current and former ESPN employees. Should be a great read.

- Milwaukee Bucks are offering 84% off season tickets next year. Any takers? Anyone? Hello?

- Kevin Durant's marketability is on the rise, already more marketable than the Golden Bear?

- No one loves the salad at Olive Garden more than me, so I am a little surprised by this. I figured if its still cold and not too soggy it's street value would be way over $10 worth of coke.

- The fellas at hoopshype.com published their mock draft.

- Kornheiser and Colt's owner media feud. Turns out billionaires don't like being called bozos.

- New details on SEAL Team 6 raid on Bin Laden compound. Everybody has a plan until you get punched in the face.

- Don't do it JVG!!!! We want you in that booth. We need you in that booth.

- Video brought to you by delusional fans on college football message boards. These people really exist. Just so we're clear, this man was NOT AT ANY TIME ATTACKED BY A BEAR.

Thanks to PD Halls for the tip.

Can't Let Go...

Take a look at which city finished third in viewing on Sunday night's record breaking viewing of the Eastern Conference Finals between the Chicago Bulls and LeBron and his Heat....

"TNT, the cable network that is carrying this Miami Heat-Chicago Bulls best-of-seven Eastern Conference finals, announced Monday that Sunday’s Game 1 was the most-viewed NBA game in the history of cable television, based on total viewership. According to a release from the network, 11.1 million viewers watched all or part of the Bulls’ 103-82 victory at the United Center. That total eclipsed the previous record of 10,829,000 total viewers for the 2003 NBA All-Star Game, which was Michael Jordan’s final All-Star Game appearance. According to CNBC, Chicago and South Florida were the top-ranked markets in the ratings for Game 1 of Heat-Bulls, with Cleveland a somewhat surprising third in the ratings.”

Submission of the Day

Not related to sports, but we fully support all aspects of this photo submitted to Garbage Minutes...

Some more Miller Time in honor of the NBA Playoffs...



Diplomas and Unemployment.

Graduation season has arrived.  Take a look at UCLA's graduation ceremony, circa 1969.  Wonder who played center on the basketball team.

For all of you graduates out there wandering aimlessly with your overpriced and overrated educations, you can do one of two things....join the Army or do as Herman Blume once so elequently said in Rushmore.

Separated at birth?

Which one is Brian Wilson, the SF Giants closer?

Submission of the Day

Garbage Minutes gets flooded with fan mail and autograph requests everyday.  Sometimes we actually open that crap.  Today we received this from a follower visiting Miami, Florida.  It was sent via text message with the caption..."At the gates of Hell.  AA Arena.  MIA."  Home to the worst fans in sports...a bunch of bandwagon fans who arrive for regular season games during the second quarter after dinner in South Beach and leave in the third quarter for drinks in South Beach...all while considering LeBron and Wade "their own." 

Don't believe me?  Check out The Sports Guy's tweets after a early series loss by the Celts to Miami...

Somebody Call PETA

I guess this is the argument against one live SportsCenter after another?

The Daily Throwback 5/16/11

This isn't sports related by any means, but here at Garbage Minutes, we strongly support our nation's military and vehemently opposed anyone who doesn't.  This is a snippet from last November.  Above all, enjoy the final paragraph.

Photo of the Day

Astros Spider Man

I've said it a million times. There is nothing on this planet that mixes better than beer and adrenaline. This guy just proved it again. Dude has some serious dexterity.

Only problem I have with this performance is he should have turned and bowed to the audience before he disappeared into the night beneath that plaster sallyport looking thing. Little more showmanship. Other than that, absolute perfection. 9.5/10.

This one was for you, Danno. Don't say we never put the 'stros on GM.

Minor League Basebrawl

Love the move where you go after the catcher first. Nothing like the element of surprise.

And yes, these are Red Sox/Yankees farm teams.

Hipster Heaven

Hilarious read in The Wall Street Journal about the upcoming "match" on the "pitch" between the Seattle Sounders and the Portland Timbers.  This article isn't as much about the X's and O's of professional soccer, but rather an observation and assessment of the hipster/hippie scene within these crunchy cities and their smelly fanbases.
Some of the classic lines from the article...

• "You can't really say our beer's better than their beer. I mean, Mac & Jack's is way better than say, Deschutes, but still," said 23-year-old Sounders fan Josh Nelson during a home game on a drizzly afternoon last month
• In Portland, stadium vendors hawk barbecued-tofu sandwiches, spinach salads and chocolate-covered bacon, putting Seattle's relatively mundane offerings, like veggie dogs, gourmet donuts and cappuccinos, to shame.
• The team plants a tree, for example, for every goal scored.
• "The Timbers are all about helping out their fellow man," said Kaegan Dews, a 22-year-old dishwasher
• "They're hippies," said Seattle fan Nic Greer, a 32-year-old garbage man with a lip ring who wears a chicken mask on his head to every game
• Agen said Timbers fans "are not the brightest bunch," thanks, he said, to their being "meth-headed" and "jobless."

Heisman Statues

Auburn is already seriously considering a statue for Cam Newton?  Really?  This is a joke on several levels.  First, this whole statue fad is getting to be a bit much.  Nick Saban, who is known for jumping from team to team, already has a statue at Alabama despite only being their head coach for four years?  Tim Tebow already has a statue at Florida despite graduating just one year ago?  On the other hand, Bill Russell has been one of the most successful and influential athletes of the last 100 years and won more NBA rings than he has finger for, yet Boston just now has decided to erect a much deserved statue for the real #6. 

The second major issue with the Cam Newton statue is what Auburn is going to do with all the scrap metal when they have to tear it down in the next several years after Cam and Preacher Cecil have to give the Heisman back.  Auburn's Athletic Director not worried about erecting this statue?  Sure about that?  Might want to give a call over to Southern Cal and see if they're glad they never put up a statue for Reggie Bush...or O.J. for that matter.

The Daily Throwback 5/13/2011

Tiger Woods had to withdraw after shooting a 42 on the front side at The Players Championship yesterday.  We don't doubt his injury, as Tiger has shown he can play/win with an injury before, but this marks yet another dark stage in the on-course career of Tiger ever since he went off-roading within the friendly confines of a luxurious gated community with his Buick SUV.  Tiger used to dominate at TPC Sawgrass.  At 18, he rolled in a gutsy birdie putt on the 35th hole of a final day match to win the 1994 U.S. Amateur, the first of three consecutive he would win.  In 2000 he finished second to Hal Sutton in The Players and came back the next year to win.  Now Sawgrass may be remembered more for Tiger simply not being able to finish a tournament there, as this marks his second consecutive year of having to withdraw from the event. 

For The Daily Throwback, here is a better time in Tiger's career at Sawgrass...

Apology Not Accepted.

LeBron James after the Miami Heat closed out an aging and injured Boston Celtics squad....

"The way it panned out with all the friends and family and fans back home, I apologize for the way it happened. As much as I loved my teammates back in Cleveland, as much as I loved home, I knew I couldn't do it by myself."

LeBron, you had a chance to beat them last year.  The Cavs were up 2-1 against Boston but lost Game 4 then you quit during Game 5. 

Buffalo Soldiers

Thirty years ago today the world lost Robert Nesta Marley.  In his honor, here are some memorable sets of dreadlocks in sports...

Manny

Al Harris

Bosh

Redneck Nation

Take a look at Forbes list of The Most Influential Athletes.  Two car drivers in the top three.

1) Jimmy Johnson - Drives a car
2) Tom Brady - NFL MVP, 3 Super Bowl Rings
3) Dale Earnhardt Jr. - Drives a car
4) Shaquille O'Neal - 3 NBA Titles
5) Michael Phelps - Swims fast in a pool one week every four years

That's a lot of left turns to get ranked above so many legit athletes.  These guys can thank an entire cult following of southerners with mullets, jean shorts, beer guts, and RV's for this ranking.  They can also thank all the nasty porn stars Tiger slept with as well as all three of LeBron's childhood friends who thought "The Decision" would be a cool idea for their current rankings.

Nicknames, or lack thereof.

Karl "Mailman" Malone

Fun read from  The New York Times on the lack of nicknames throughout sports nowadays. 

"The Yankees won generations of championships with men known as Babe, Iron Horse, Joltin’ Joe, Scooter, Yogi, Catfish and Mr. October. More recently, they won with players named Derek, Mariano and Andy. Alex Rodriguez — A-Rod — has what passes for a nickname these days."

Chris Berman hits it on the head...“I viewed it as reviving a lost art. Why aren’t there nicknames now? Maybe everything is so literal. You can see everybody on the Internet, TV, YouTube, whatever it is. There’s very little left to the imagination.”

Cover of the Day

The Washington Wizards have come out with a new uniform for next year.  We actually applaud this decision.  First, the previous costumes were laughable.  Second, it's a shame Michael Jordan's legacy will forever be slightly tarnished by that aforementioned jersey; almost as bad as him wearing a Birmingham Barons minor league baseball uni.  Lastly, these jerseys are actually pretty cool, as they are both simple and offer a little homage to the past.  See today's Cover of the Day from 1978 to see the comparison...

* Quick observation...is Elvin Hayes' teammate really wearing an away jersey while the rest of the team is wearing their home uniforms?  Look closely at the cover.  The Washington Bullets are clearly at home against the San Antonio Spurs, yet Reggie McSmooth back there forgot to pack his white home uniform.

One Word: Contraction

I would apologize to all you Bobcats fans out there but I have never met one and am not 100% sure they exist. This is embarrassing. The NBA and NHL need to cut about 4 teams each and this is proof.

This is Getting Ridiculous

I try not to be that guy that kills ESPN for everything they do. The WWL is everywhere and is nearly the only big target for social media and those on the blogosphere looking for things to complain about in the world of sports. I try to understand that ESPN can not just cater to the top 10% sports fans in America but must appeal to the masses for ratings. Thus you have to wade through Skip Bayless and Woody Paige to get Wilbon and Kornheiser. But now this is getting ridiculous. ESPN.com's page 2 is now carrying "columns" or "blog posts" from Rob Kardashian, the brother of marginally famous socialites with no discernible talent who is equally untalented and is only heard from because one of his sisters married Lamar Odom and the other released a sex tape. For all of the good work ESPN does (30 for 30, E:60, NFL Matchup) they tear it down by allowing idiots like Bayless, Paige and now Kardashian to be given a platform to spew their idiocy. Nice 'stache, by the way.

Somebody Give This Guy A High Five.

Where is David Puddy when you need him?

Morning Wood: Your Tuesday Links

- Pretty much how I'm feeling about my Celtics right now, too. Did you know that every finals since 1979 has featured Magic, Bird, Isiah, Jordan, Hakeem, Duncan, Shaq or Kobe? Looks like we're going to buck that trend this year.

- Great story on Tedy Bruschi preparing to climb Mount Kilimanjaro to raise awareness for the Wounded Warrior Project. Have to respect anyone that will climb a mountain that begins phonetically with "kill a man".

- This was all over the news in Europe this week. English woman goes to bed with massive migraine and wakes up with Chinese accent? I know we're going to find out in a month that she is actually the female version of Sasha Baron Cohen and we'll all feel like idiots for believing her.

- Sportsbiz: Seattle Sounders are at it again with a Jackie Moon-like promotion. Score three goals, fans get a free hair cut.

- Morning ego boost: Watch these terrible golf swings and feel better about your game instantly.

- Who is coming with me to Dennis Rodman's retirement party?

- I agree with Magic on Bynum and Odom's behavior, but he did the same thing to Isiah:

Bumper Sticker of the Day

Poor Losers

"They were breaking us down, so I just fouled somebody. I'm not disappointed in myself. It is what it is. We got embarrassed tonight, so that's what happened." - Andrew Bynum

Does David Stern suspend Odom and Bynum for some games to start the 2011-2012 season after yesterday's jailyard game in Dallas?  Even lifelong Laker Magic Johnson wouldn't disagree, as he called their play "classless" and "thuggish" and stated they "embarrassed me as a Laker."

Lucas Roethlisberger

Didn't realize Ben Roethlisberger won the 2011 Wells Fargo Championship in Charlotte yesterday...

Crappy Hat

Best headgear at the Kentucky Derby...

RIP, Seve.

Legend.



Sad day for not only golf but also anyone who appreciates true competitors, no matter the sport.  Severiano Ballesteros passed away in his home in Spain at the age of 54 after fighting a brain tumor for several years.  In this era of fantasy sports, huge arenas and stadiums, free agency, steroids and ignorant and selfish superstars without titles, this generation might not fully appreciate the greatness of Seve.  Outside of Tiger, it's quite possible nobody has played a more colorful and charismatic style of golf...ever.  Outside of Tiger, Player, and Nicklaus, there probably has never been a more intense competitor on the links.  Sometimes controversial and flamboyant yet always brilliant, Seve altered a country club sport back in the late 1970's and throughout the 1980's.  The drama, intensity, patriotism and downright pride shown in the Ryder Cups of recent decades is nearly entirely due to Seve Ballesteros, who forever changed the level of play and competition in those bi-annual events when players from outside of Great Britain & Ireland were included to make up the European team in 1979.  Hopefully the sports community of today will put down their iPads, Twitter feeds, $8.50 beers, and pending fantasy trades to truly appreciate someone who competed with an intensity we'll never see from an NBA superstar that "doesn't get along with his coach" or "wants to play in a bigger market."

You'll be missed, Seve.

Great Sponsor

Get mad all you want. I actually applaud Liquor King for wanting to spend money and get involved in the community. Its also a genius marketing ploy. I bet you my entire 401K (don't have one) Liquor King is walking distance from the field complex in this town and the owner knows there is only one way to make it through a 6 inning girls youth softball game. So there it is staring at all the fathers like a beacon of light. Genius.

Real Champions

The Garbage Minute guys applaud Champions Sportswear for their decision today.  Not that we've purchased an article of clothing from Champions since 1994, but we're considering buying stock now.  They not only let Rashard Mendenhall go as a result of his dumbass bin Laden tweets, but they did it in a professional yet authoritative and patriotic way...

"Champion is a strong supporter of the government's efforts to fight terrorism and is very appreciative of the dedication and commitment of the U.S. Armed Forces. Earlier this week, Rashard Mendenhall, who endorses Champion products, expressed personal comments and opinions regarding Osama bin Laden and the September 11 terrorist attacks that were inconsistent with the values of the Champion brand and with which we strongly disagreed. In light of these comments, Champion was obliged to conduct a business assessment to determine whether Mr. Mendenhall could continue to effectively communicate on behalf of and represent Champion with consumers. While we respect Mr. Mendenhall's right to express sincere thoughts regarding potentially controversial topics, we no longer believe that Mr. Mendenhall can appropriately represent Champion and we have notified Mr. Mendenhall that we are ending our business relationship. Champion has appreciated its association with Mr. Mendenhall during his early professional football career and found him to be a dedicated and conscientious young athlete. We sincerely wish him all the best."

Cover of the Day

As of today, the 21-9 Cleveland Indians are holding down the #1 spot in Sports Illustrated's Power Rankings.  Keep in mind this is a team SI had finishing near the bottom of not only the AL Central, but the whole league in their March MLB preview issue.

...so when do the Tribe start tanking?  They finished 25 games below .500 last year and it's only May.  In honor of the inevitable Cleveland collapse, here is then Indian Albert Belle on the cover back on May 6, 1996, shortly after beaming a reporter in the stands with a ball.  Keep it classy, Albert.

Hard Knock Life

Tough news today for all March Madness fans, as Gus Johnson is leaving CBS Sports.  This means no more calls like this one.

That said, since when did one of the most dorky sports broadcasters turn into a thug?  Hey Gus, your real name is Augustus Cornelius, you went to a private jesuit high school, earned a political science degree in college, and make Jim Nantz seem like a dangerous gang-banger.  Stop being a poser, Gus.