FIFA

One of those stories where you don't even know where to begin. Sepp Blatter is doing everything he can to sink an absolutely unsinkable ship and so here we are. FIFA is too big to fail, there is too much money in reserve (reportedly $1.2 Billion. Yes, billion.) and so much rampant corruption there is absolutely no way to even begin policing it. That is, of course, unless a normal country could submit a normal candidate to run against Sepp Blatter. Oh. He is running unopposed after charging his former just-as-corrupt opponent with corruption and forcing him to drop out? Makes sense.

And England can spare everyone the indignation . . . if you don't like the current system, have the balls to run your own candidate or shut up.

My solution: Obama and other world leaders commission an independent organization to investigate the process behind Qatar getting the 2022 World Cup Bid. If it was clean, everyone goes home no questions asked. If it turns out there was rampant corruption, wipe FIFA off the face of the earth and hand control over world soccer to the United Nations assembly. It will give them something to do and it will be a slightly less corrupt, marginally more transparent process. Time to spend some of that We-Killed-Bin-Laden Capital.