Showing posts with label Coutchman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Coutchman. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Hammer Time


The Oakland A's will be giving out these MC Hammer bobble heads to the first 15,000 fans on July 17th as part of their "80's Weekend" celebration. Take note, Lowell Spinners. This is how you put asses in seats. Free MC Hammer bobble heads. Not shooting some geriatric over a wall.

Human Home Run

In a Jackie Moon-esque stunt at a Single A baseball game in Lowell, MA, the Lowell Spinners shot some idiot over the left field wall for the first ever "human home run".
Not impressed. If I am at the game I am pissed they paid this moron instead of giving the first 200 fans Dustin Pedroia bobble heads. "Corndogs, Jackie!! Corndogs for all these people!!!" Anyway, here is the video:

Field Of Dreams 2

Pretty good effort by funnyordie.com making fun of the lockout with a Field of Dreams parody.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Athletes On Gay Marriage


New York Daily News compiled a list of quotes from athletes and sports personalities commenting on the issue of gay marriage. We don't do politics at GM, just wanted to post the link to reinforce the fact that athletes are morons, by and large. Why does anyone listen to these people? Stay in your lane. Just hit home runs and shut up. (Wow, Smoltzy. Wow.)

Morning Wood: Your Wednesday Links


Looking good, TB. Looking good.

- Deceased E-Street band member Clarence Clemons went 4 for 5 at his own funeral. That's right. 4 of his 5 wives showed up to pay tribute. Respect.

- Cubs catcher Geovany Soto with one of the best reactions of the year after Ozzie Guillen booted his catchers mask across the diamond.

- Ricky Rubio is finally coming to the NBA, even though he sucked in Europe. T-Wolves using his number for ticket promotion anyway:


- Trip to Dodgers game becoming stranger and more surreal by the day. Pic from last night's game. Imagine what it would have looked like if there wasn't a free towel giveaway:


- Apparently there are still some schools out there without major NCAA allegations/violations. Congrats, I guess, to Boston College, Northwestern, Penn State and Stanford.

- This is what happens when you are employed by a classy organization and start sleeping with your teammates' wives. Good luck in Sacramento, Tony.

- Pictograph of how, exactly, the Boston Bruins racked up a $156,679.74 bar tab at a Foxwoods casino night club.

- The Rory/Tiger comparisons are ridiculous, but they do have this one thing in common. Child prodigy TV appearances:

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

U-S-A

That's right. I'm shamelessly pulling everyone I can onto the Bruins bandwagon for game 7 tonight by appealing to their patriotism. A win for the spoked Bs is a win for America. And please don't bog my email down with facts showing there are more American players on Vancouver than the Bruins. That is beside the point. Cheering against the flopping, whining Canucks is just like cheering against the Heat only imagine Miami is in a foreign country. (Like Cuba, for example) God bless America and go B's.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Chills City.

File this video under reason #21,475 we love sports. The Garden Monday night giving injured star Nathan Horton, taken out of the series by a cheap shot from Canuck Aaron Rome, a standing ovation.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Piling On.

This may be piling on but I can't help myself. If they never win one as a team this video is going to haunt them for the rest of their lives. I promise to post this every year the day after the Heat are eliminated from the playoffs. Pure gold.


Thank You, Dirk

The Dallas Mavericks are NBA champs. Thank god. I feel like everything we believe about the game of basketball and team sports in general has been vindicated. Cue the Bosh trade rumors. Cool picture of Mavs owner Mark Cuban bringing the Larry O'Brien trophy with him to a nightclub last night. Have to feel great for Dirk and J-Kidd. Congrats and thank you from a grateful nation.



Friday, June 10, 2011

The Daily Throwback 6/10/11

Today's amazing sports poster of all time great linebacker and statutory rape specialist Lawrence Taylor is brought to you by the 80's. If I had grown up a Giants fan I guarantee I would have had this gem hanging in my room. Lasers coming out of his hands? Yes, Please.




Tuesday, June 7, 2011

GM On Twitter



Anthony Weiner has inspired us. 

Just what you needed. More semi-coherent sports commentary directly from the horses (ass) mouth at GM world headquarters. If you're on twitter, give us a follow, and we promise even more wasted time in your cubicle.

DISCLAIMER: Please disregard all tweets made during prime drinking hours which are 5:00 PM and 6:00 AM during the week and midnight on friday until 6 AM Monday morning. Also disregard tweets sent out during or immediately following Boston and Cleveland sports team losses. Just assume we don't actually want Lebron dead - someone hacked our account.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Dykstra Watch: Grand Theft Auto Edition


Garbage Minutes mainstay Lenny Dykstra is at it again. Grand theft auto this time. And drug possession. Probably not as bad as it sounds, right? Probably just a little medicinal marijuana or something?

Oh, they found cocaine, ecstacy and synthetic HGH in the stolen car? Hmm. That doesn't sound like my boy Lenny. Looks like a frame job to me. Like Newman claiming Keith Hernandez spit on him.


Sunday, June 5, 2011

Free Man



Plax is getting out of jail tomorrow. Seems like he went to jail twenty years ago. I still don't understand why they needed to punish him any more than he already punished himself after shooting himself in the leg but I guess New York had nothing else to do with it's taxpayer dollars than put someone away who actually pays a substantial amount of taxes and contributes to society.


I'm hoping the Eagles sign him. Would love to see what kind of CONnection he and Mike Vick would have. See what I did there? Sorry about that. I got nothing.






GM Idiot of the Week: Brian Sabean




It has been nearly eleven days since Marlins rookie Scott Cousins bowled over Giants catcher Buster Posey at home plate, breaking Posey's leg and ending his season, yet here we are still talking about it. Immediately following the collision, the national sports media engaged in a nation wide debate over whether there should be new rules to protect catchers. No matter what side of the debate you fall on, the bottom line is no one would be having this debate if it were some back up catcher (pick one of the Molina brothers) and not the defending World Series champions' all star catcher and clean up hitter had been injured while blocking the plate.


An SI article then brought to light that Scott Cousins, a San Francisco native, has been receiving death threats. Instead of donig the classy thing and releasing a statement saying that although the outcome of the play was unfortunate, it was a clean play and part of the game, fat ass Giants GM Brian Sabean made the following comments on a local San Francisco radio station. Keep in mind he already knew that Cousins had been receiving death threats:


“If I never hear from Cousins again or he never plays another game in the big leagues, I think we’ll all be happy.”


“He chose to be a hero in my mind, and if that’s his flash of fame, that’s as good as it’s going to get, pal. We’ll have a long memory. Believe me, we’ve talked to (former catcher Mike) Matheny about how this game works. You can’t be that out-and-out overly aggressive. I’ll put it as politically as I can state it: There’s no love lost and there shouldn’t be.”


The Giants organization backed off of their comments immediately, of course, and Sabean now has a date with MLB discipline czar Joe Torrey at a yet to be determined date.


Even hinting at violence is poor judgement from an organization that had one of its fans nearly beaten to death in LA on opening day. It appears Sabean thinks the Giants World Series victory has given him enough leverage to make ignorant, moronic comments without consequence. This is the same guy, by the way, that gave Barry Bonds free reign to behave however he wanted and signed Barry Zito to a $126 M contract through 2014. If I were a Giants fan, I think I would be concerned that my General Manager is still talking about something that happened eleven days ago and not looking toward the future in a very winnable division.


Brian Sabean. GM idiot of the week.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Great Sports Town

Atlanta lost its hockey team to a Canadian city (again). The Flames left Atlanta for Calgary in 1980 and now the Thrashers are heading to Winnipeg, former home of the Jets. Atlanta is a terrible sports town, and having more teams in Canada is a great thing for the NHL and the sport of hockey. Judging from some of the playoff crowds at the Hawks games this year, maybe the Atlanta ownership group should see if Winnipeg could use a basketball team as well.

FIFA


One of those stories where you don't even know where to begin. Sepp Blatter is doing everything he can to sink an absolutely unsinkable ship and so here we are. FIFA is too big to fail, there is too much money in reserve (reportedly $1.2 Billion. Yes, billion.) and so much rampant corruption there is absolutely no way to even begin policing it. That is, of course, unless a normal country could submit a normal candidate to run against Sepp Blatter. Oh. He is running unopposed after charging his former just-as-corrupt opponent with corruption and forcing him to drop out? Makes sense.

And England can spare everyone the indignation . . . if you don't like the current system, have the balls to run your own candidate or shut up.

My solution: Obama and other world leaders commission an independent organization to investigate the process behind Qatar getting the 2022 World Cup Bid. If it was clean, everyone goes home no questions asked. If it turns out there was rampant corruption, wipe FIFA off the face of the earth and hand control over world soccer to the United Nations assembly. It will give them something to do and it will be a slightly less corrupt, marginally more transparent process. Time to spend some of that We-Killed-Bin-Laden Capital.

The Case for Manny's Plaque


A well known trick that every White House since the dawn of the modern news media has pulled is releasing less than stellar news on late Friday afternoons when reporters are heading out for the weekend and the news cycle is not as aggressive. Looks like Major League Baseball is employing the same tactic. On a late Friday afternoon in April, while the Red Sox and Yankees were slugging it out in Boston and Tiger was tearing through the back nine at Augusta, it was announced that on the heels of a failed drug test and facing a 100 game suspension, Manny Ramirez would retire. Manny’s sudden departure from the game brings to the forefront once again the question of how to judge and evaluate the careers of the Hall of Fame caliber players of the steroids era.

But before we get into that, let’s focus a little bit on Manny. Now that you’ve had your fill of listening to just about every baseball writer in America take their best shot at him, I think it’s important to remember just how special a player this guy was. Throughout his career, Manny made it hard for the average sports fan to wade through all of the non-baseball minutia that orbited around him and really just enjoy him as a player. Manny brought most of it on himself, of course, but underneath the 20 wristbands, baggy jersey, dread locks and overall bizarre demeanor was a man that was unlike any other superstar of his time. He was a generational talent that truly didn’t care what the rest of the world thought of him.

Until the rise of Albert Pujols, Manny was a lock to be the greatest right handed hitter of our lifetime. Historically, he will rank behind the likes of Hank Aaron, Willie Mays, Joe DiMaggio, and, barring injury, Albert Pujols. That’s it. That’s the list. He was almost a genetically perfect hitter with a nearly flawless swing. No holes. Great eye. Could protect the plate. Power to both sides of the field. Hit for power and average. When Manny was locked in, it was appointment television. The beer lines at Fenway got short when Manny was on deck. In his first at bat he would rip a double down the left field line and make the pitcher reconsider trying to use the inside part of the plate. Then he would be up two innings later and slap a fastball off the outside corner of the plate thirty feet over the fence in right. There was nothing you could do when he was hot. Eventually, teams would intentionally walk him even if it meant pushing runners into scoring position.

His goofy, aloof persona only added to his aura as a hitter. Everyone threw around the term “idiot savant”. A guy who didn’t have to work on his swing; he could just show up to the ballpark an hour before game time and mash. His baggy clothes made it seem as though he never worked out, a sharp contrast to the form-fitting Cardinals jersey that seemed to do everything but rip right off of Mark McGuire’s artificially grown biceps. None of this was true, of course. Manny worked extremely hard on his swing and was every bit as ripped up as McGuire, he just wasn’t flaunting his bulging veins on national TV. Manny was just as big a cheater as every other player that used PEDs during the steroids era, which brings up two questions. (1) How do we evaluate the careers of the superstars during the steroids era against other all-time greats? and (2) Do they deserve a plaque at Cooperstown?

The worst part of the steroids era is that no one knows how to handle what little information we do have about users vs. non-users. The Hall of Fame voters have set a precedent, so far, of excluding those with known ties to steroids from Cooperstown. If the voting stays the way it has gone so far, neither Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire nor Manny Ramirez will get in. The problem, of course, is these are the guys that got caught, which does not mean that other players who will be offered admission are necessarily clean. Major League Baseball did such a poor job policing its players for such a long period of time that there will never be a fair way to determine if a player was using or not. Voting for players based off of the bits and pieces released from the Mitchell Report is ludicrous. At this point, the baseball writers association is rewarding those that were smart or lucky enough to use steroids to boost their stats and not get caught. At this point, there are only two options: Exclude the steroid era players as a whole (never going to happen) or assume just about everyone was using (they were) and judge them based on the merits of the time. Would you be happier flooding Cooperstown with the Carlos Delgados of the world whose stats seem in line with other known steroid users of the era but has never popped up on a secret list?

The reality is that Manny is probably the last of the old-guard steroid era players that will be caught red handed. Now that this era is seemingly over, it is important to provide context to this time period the same way we do others. Babe Ruth never faced a black or Latino pitcher. He also never had to face a slider; the pitch had yet to be invented. Reversing any of these factors would have hurt his stats yet we still consider him one of the greatest that ever played the game because of the way he dominated his era. That is the only way we can judge him fairly because we have no other choice. Of course Babe Ruth wouldn’t dominate today. With the amount of hot dogs he would ingest, it is likely he wouldn’t make a modern day Major League roster. But judging him against players that grew up in a fitness and nutrition conscious society is unfair, just as is locking out every player that took steroids from Cooperstown and admitting those that likely took steroids but weren’t caught under Bud Selig’s incompetent watch. Like it or not, the steroids era was Manny’s era, and while he didn’t dominate the way Ruth did, his numbers are certainly first-ballot worthy.

Major League Baseball could have controlled steroid use the same way they controlled not allowing African Americans to play with the whites during Ruth’s tenure. Management made a conscious decision to look the other way while McGuire and Sosa bashed America’s pastime back into the national spotlight. They cultivated a culture of cheating for the sake of ratings, relevance and cash-flow then acted shocked and indignant when the national media uncovered the unsightly truth layer by seemingly endless layer. With that being said, the baseball writers association has to stop turning this into a morality debate. Cooperstown cannot ignore the steroids era any more than it can the segregation era. It is a part of baseball’s history now. It absolutely is a tainted piece of history but is steroid use really more embarrassing than a league that wouldn’t allow black players anywhere near the stadium? It’s time to stop pretending this is the first era of baseball players whose stats were aided by external factors.

The morality police embedded in the baseball writers association need to take a long hard look at who is already in the hall of fame and the circumstances under which they got there before shunning players just as deserving. The reality is the steroids era was an unfortunate byproduct of a professional sports league’s desperate attempt to get back into the social conscious of America as fast as possible. If steroids had been available during any other time frame I guarantee you those players would have been just as needle happy. The insatiable desire for that competitive edge is human nature, plain and simple. I want to be able to visit Cooperstown in twenty years and not have a good portion of my baseball memories absent in time and space as if they never happened. Ignoring a low point in your history is pathetic and transparent. When you go to the Elvis museum at Graceland and the tour guide gets all the way through the part about the king's death without mentioning the mound of cocaine he ingested, do you think everyone in the crowd really buys it? Of course they don’t. Please don’t turn Cooperstown into the Elvis Museum. Put Manny in the hall.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Fan Tattoos


Enjoy this gallery of ridiculous fan tattoos such as this one of Bear Bryant and many, many more.

Video of the Day

Not exactly sports related, but a great commercial nonetheless.


Fan of the Game


Anyone recognize last night's fan of the game at TD Garden? If you look closely you will see Bill Belichik sitting among the commoners waving his gold towel and getting the crowd to a fever pitch. No one fires up the troops like the hooded genius.