Shane Falco Never Decertified.

Today the players' union decertified, which very well might signify the end to any hope of consuming thousands of calories via buffalo wings dipped in ranch dressing, downing a dozen beers, and walking into work on Monday mornings hungover for nearly half of the American populace.

That said, who needs Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, or Michael Vick when they can be replaced by Shane Falco?

"There's a bomb in my helmet."